Date on the Water

I had such a cute and effortless date with a guy named Phd…

We met at a day party in early April. He came up to me at the party and started talking to me, I liked that a lot. There are too many instances at parties when guys are on one side and girls are on the other, neither interacting with one another. Phd gave me his number and I texted him mine. I was drinking and I had to text him immediately because I wasn’t sure if I had gotten the number right or wrong. Either way that was such a good day.

Phd is really funny, he talks a lot, and when we talk it’s so effortless. Usually I’m really guarded and vague when I first chat with guys. I don’t want them to know anything much about me honestly. With Phd, I just naturally let it flow and it’s interesting. I don’t really have an explanation on why it’s so effortless or why I just feel so comfortable, it just is.

On our date, he picked me from my apartment to take me to this cool restaurant off the water in queens. He made reservations and all. We ate our food and talked for a long time. At the end we walked along the water (it was freezing) and then he dropped me off.

I hope to write some more about him before he figures out this blog hahaha

Guy Update

200
It’s been so long since I’ve even had a chance to talk about guys so here it is:

Ex Factor – In January, I’m sure you read that he saw me with Roz out on a date (or read it here). Of course all of a sudden Ex Factor is completely upset and showing emotion. In my opinion, if he was doing the things that a man does to show a woman that he likes her, then I wouldn’t have been on a date with anybody but he wasn’t. I suppose he needs time to get over that as time heals all wounds. On Valentines Day he did text me to say “Happy V Day”. I guess we are going to be friends from a distant. At this point in my life, I can’t wait for someone to act right when they have had years already to do so. It’s just not fair to do so.

Uncle (no not my uncle) – Uncle needs his own entire blog post but I don’t have the energy to do it just for him. Uncle was a nice guy that I met in mid December who I thought was a smart and cool guy. We talked for about a month and a half or so. We went out on dates, talked a lot and shared past experiences. Uncle had a lot of inner issues stemming from his ex girlfriends and his parents. I figured out quickly that I was much more advanced in life, love, and career than Uncle. But really I never held that against him because I thought he was cool.

I’m not sure if I have the patience currently to wait for a man to grow up and then teach him how to be a man. I can’t do that. Uncle has to grow on his own. I also saw that his inner issues were stopping him from a lot of things and will continue to do so until he fixing it. About a month ago, he said that he noticed that I wasn’t paying him much attention anymore. He claimed it was because I was talking to so many other men that I was ignoring him. He also said that he wasn’t going to compete with other men so he was out. I agreed. Honestly, that wasn’t the truth. I wasn’t ignoring him because I was focused on other men. I just stopped trying to be ‘Captain Save A Hoe’. I’m usually ‘Captain Save A Hoe‘ for people trying to fix them and make them better people. It’s just ‘in me’ to want to help people. I gave Uncle a chance and if his inner issues weren’t stopping him, we would be friends now. All in all, he does need to grow up, move OUT of his parents home and try new things. I wish the best for him I suppose.

Roz – I already was not that much into Roz so Roz is gone. I’m sure if I text him right now, he would answer and be cool. I’m not going to text him.

Random Guy from Long Island – There was a guy that I met who was from Long Island. I only bring this up to say that a lot of guys do the same thing that he did. He expressed that the only thing he needs in his life is a loving woman and relationship, blah blah blah. However, the guy texted me good morning everyday and didn’t have (good) conversation. It was slight annoying to me. Why continue to text me and don’t talk about anything. When I start a conversation it was me leading. No thank you, I need reciprocating convo. These guys are lazy nowadays!

What to do from here? I’m taking it easy. That’s as simple as that. I can’t focus on dating at least until Spring/Summer.

 

You Got Hoes Krystal

I decided to go out with Roz again…

We met up at Spice restaurant to eat Thai food. He dressed very nice but he had these huge headphones with him. He should leave those at home next time. I could tell that he wanted to talk to me about us dating. He mentioned something like that, previously in text but I don’t think I’m interested. At dinner he wanted to know more about my life and what I do for a living. I actually enjoyed chatting with him but I didn’t feel the need to open up to him about who I am. The bill came and I was anxious to see if his card would be declined (haha), of course it was not. He asked me to pick the next place for our adventure and I picked a hookah lounge (that I usually pick on first dates). We went to the lounge but couldn’t get in because he had a hat on. They wouldn’t even allow him to take the hat off. What an establishment!

We then, just walked down the street. I was in mid-sentence calling Roz “boo” when I turned to my right and saw Ex-factor standing there. I never shut up so fast in my life LOL. Suddenly Roz disappeared in my mind and there was only me and Ex-factor. Ex-factor looked so good in his all black. This man is so fine to me and probably most of the population of women. He’s 6’4, brown-skinned, slender and big Will Smith dumb ears. Ex and I chatted but I really wanted to know why the hell he was in my neighborhood because we had agreed each other’s area was off limits. And I also wanted to know was he with a chick. Ex was by himself. After we talked, I realized that Roz was there again and I should introduce them (I should not have) so I said “Fuckboy meet fuckboy jr, alright”. Okay, I used their nicknames instead of fuckboy. Ex factor says, “I’ll hit you up later”. I paused and continued to walk with Roz who was laughing out loud.

Of course I soon got a text from Ex that said:

We will discuss this later

Really what are we discussing? In real life, there’s nothing to discuss because we aren’t together. However in the land of crazy people, we needed to discuss how I was fake cheating on him and having a life outside of his bullshit. That’s where it gets weird for me, how dare you not do what you should have been doing and then be mad when I go get a life and date? If he was with me instead of hiding in dark shadows of Manhattan then this wouldn’t be a problem.

pillow

Our texting continued throughout the night and into the next morning. I even tried to talk him into coming over later so we could talk about what he said we needed to discuss. That was done purposely to let him know that of course I wouldn’t be going home with Roz. Wait, before I can even get to our texts, I alert you all that Roz had an entire condoms in his pocket. I suppose Roz is very confident but an entire box in your pocket sir? No thank you.

So Ex-factor and I texted with the gist of the conversation being that I was “caught”.  In his mind, I’m sure it made sense. I can really tell that Ex-factor was extremely mad at me. I was really mad at Ex-factor most of our relationship so I can totally understand. But I don’t understand why he doesn’t just step up if he doesn’t want someone else to have me. Oh well his fault.

His last words to me were, “You don’t need me. You got hoes, Krystal :)”.

Son of a b… really?

It’s interesting that someone who didn’t treat you right, doesn’t like when someone else tries to. Granted, I do not want Roz but Ex-factor doesn’t need to know that. In reality, I do not need Ex-factor and I won’t be communicating with him anymore. I think I have learned my lesson about back-tracking but I DON’T have hoes.

Dating Escapades of September

The dates that I been on lately, have been more like stunts and adventures…

Guy: JR

I went out on two dates with JR. The first date was a movie and I was about 10 minutes late. He was annoyed. Oh well, I did tell him I would be late because I was already busy with my girlfriends. By the end of the movie, he was so happy to be in my presence that he forgot he was mad.

Afterwards, we searched around looking for a bar to go to but couldn’t find one that wasn’t so loud. We found a lounge. I got the feeling that JR was a cheap guy, he didn’t want to pay $20 to get into a lounge. That definitely turned me off. Ugh I never did like JR that much. A day after the movie, he even told me that he missed me? Hmm okay sure.

The next date was to a restaurant but I was 30 minutes late. Okay… I was late because I had another date prior. Sorry JR. JR then took me to a movie and invited me over to his home to “chill”. I once asked JR, “what are you good at”? He replied, “bowling, pool, and sex”. Sorry JR I’m not coming to your house sir. That’s the end of JR and I. He’s weird and creepy. However, I do need to work on being on time.

*The most creepy part of JR is that he sent me photos of his body saying “just wanted you to think of me when you sleep”… creepy.

Guy: Key (I named him after Key & Peele)

Key and I met at a coffee shop to chat. His card was declined when he paid for the coffee. However he had cash. Now see, Key is so hilarious that the situation wasn’t as bad as you would think. I can understand your card being declined, maybe he has fraud on it. I had fraud on my card 3x in August. Actually 3 days later, he mentioned that he had dropped his wallet so all of his cards mixed together. Basically the card that used to pay for coffee was the wrong card. Thank God for cash and my patience.

We then crashed a community garden party with food and drinks. It was fun and I felt comfortable with Key. He’s cute and has a great personality. I mean he makes me laugh, that’s the key. I’m sure he will get a new debit card with a chip in it. I definitely don’t want to see his declined card again.

Guy: Jon

I’ve went on a date with Jon before and I wrote about it here. Jon is slowly leaving the picture. He doesn’t talk much or have great conversation. I’m a girl who needs conversation, I’m stimulated by that. So when you don’t know what to talk about, I’m disinterested. Adios Jon.

I DO-n’t: My Married Date

ban-marriage-big

I recently decided to start dating again… after two years of not dating seriously. Being out of the “game” for that long, I feel so out of it. I don’t know what to talk about or how to approach them or even where to find men (the type of men I think I like). So I decided to give Tinder a chance. Tinder, you know, the app where you have to match someone in order for you to send/receive messages. I like Tinder, it’s easy and I don’t have to leave my bed to see who’s available. What a way to find men! Trying Tinder, that’s step 1. Step 2 is actually finding someone and meeting up with them in person. I never really intend on actually meeting online men just because they barely make it past a week or two chatting on the phone. This past weekend, I took a huge chance. A guy messaged me to go out for drinks on Saturday and I messaged back on Sunday confirming that I would. Who knows what was running through my mind at the time, but I took a risk.

This guy (Steve) and I met up at a Union Square coffee shop.  I arrive and message him. I sit down and wait. We don’t have one another’s number, only the Tinder app. No reply. I’m thinking that I seriously messed up by taking this risk for being stood up. I see a guy sitting down but i’m not sure if it’s him or not. The waitress is definitely asking to take my order but I tell her that I’m waiting for someone. I really look like the lonely girl in the bar. I get up the courage to go over to the guy and ask him is he Steve. His back was facing me but at a side glance, he was definitely Steve. Finally! It’s Steve. Cool! The waitresses come up to us and say, “we knew you two were waiting for each other”.
Steve and I chat and smile, instantly I think he’s cool because he holds very good conversation. He orders me a few drinks and we are facing with our legs intertwined on bar stools. After my drinks, he asks if i’m hungry. I’m always hungry if I’m on a date, that’s the prefect time to be hungry.

We go to a restaurant in the area and continue our conversation. He again orders me a few drinks. What’s the motivation behind all of those drinks? I accept… it’s free drinks. By this time, I can totally understand how this man is so charming and successful. He’s well-educated, cultured, connected, and is a great listener. I love that in a man!

He then offers to go for a nightcap. I definitely asked him, “what do you mean”. I literally have to make sure that he wasn’t feeding and buttering me up all to end at my home naked. His reply is, “a drink, let’s go to the W Hotel bar”. It’s Sunday night but I agreed. Sundays I usually watch TV while rolling my hair and meal prepping. This Sunday I was hanging out with exceptional Steve. I was pretty proud of myself, I was deterring from the normal plan. Steve and I actually go to an outside bar in Union Square where I have a final drink. By this time, I hate myself because I’ve worked out so hard this week to shed some weight and here I am drinking my calories away. But hey, I only live once. Steve is actually holding my hand and kissing my cheek. Steve finally goes in for an actual kiss so we kiss. We kissed a dozen times. I’m feeling a little weird and he notices. I don’t know this man and we are making out at an outside bar for the world to see. I’m totally shy with PDA sometimes. He think I’m just sexually shy. Okay.

It’s 11:30pm so I finally tell him that I have to wake up at 5am for work. He walks me to my bus and kisses me goodbye.

The takeaways: I still don’t have this man’s phone number, how is he so incredible, this was an awesome and easy date, and I totally want to hang out with him again.

The next day I decide to google prince charming now that I knew more about him. Boy was I shocked when a marriage announcement popped up. Are you kidding me Google? No! The announcement says that he and his wife Kellie were married in 2013. WOW…

The funny part is that she’s also from Michigan, just like me. Kellie was a semi-attractive blond girl to the opposite of my natural hair wearing brown skin. However, there is was no way I could say anything bad about her, she had it all? It’s her husband who sucks! NO I didn’t ask him if he was married and I didn’t see a ring. Honestly, I didn’t know I had to ask men my age were they married. However he wasn’t my age, he was 34, several years my senior. Totally in the marriage age range. In fact, I will be asking all men whether they are married or not. I am entering that era where men may be divorced, separated, have a slew of kids and may even have several wives. Who knows?

Any-who, I have a mini panic attack because now I have tongued down someone’s husband. I message Steve and ask him if he’s married. Hours later he simply says, “Yes, happily so. There are no secrets, I’m on open book”. Um, dude you weren’t open with me. You probably should have started the conversation saying you are married? Just maybe!

Steve says that Kellie knows about the date but they aren’t swingers. I say, “y’all are cool”. Of course I asked were they swingers. I needed to know what position I was supposed to play and why was I chosen. I will never know. The End!

My fabulous date was married. He’s still a fabulous man but he’s just in an open marriage and slightly a liar by omitting the marriage details. I’m not mad at Open Marriage Steve because that type of behavior is okay in his relationship, I’m not judging but I definitely want to be fully aware so I can make my own decisions pertaining it. I’m sure I’ll see Steve around the city and in my future career endeavors. When it happens, I’ll say, “hello there” but I’m definitely not okay with dating married men. This has taught me to ask guys all the damn questions that I want before going out and most importantly, Steve showed me a great effortless date. Thanks Open Marriage Steve! side eye