Guy Update #1,024

Yes, I do feel like I have given 1,023 Guy Updates on this blog. Here’s another one:

All of those guys that I talked about last post are gone except for Ex-Factor…

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  • Ex-Factor – He’s still alive and kicking. He still lives close to me. He just really irritates me sometimes. It’s like he does the opposite of what I ask him to do. I don’t know if God invented another man as not right for me yet this man is still there.
  • Law & Order : So there was this cop guy and he had to be most unattractive guy I’ve going out with in such a long time. Not unattractive physically but unattractive in probably every other aspect. Physically, he was about 6’3 with light brown eyes. Everything else was just… so unattractive to me.

    He picked me up from my house. He was wearing a (too short) Polo shirt, khaki shorts and some sneakers. The whole outfit was off. It didn’t fit well. He didn’t have any muscle tone at all. Like there’s nothing hard on his body at all that I know of.

    So we got into his car and he proceeded to drive us to the pool hall. This man CANNOT drive! He is a New York City Police Officer and he cannot drive worth anything.  He did mention that he has to retake his drivers test within his department. His inability to drive really made me more unattracted to him. I’m almost thirty and a man being able to drive is a must. He doesn’t need to have a car in NYC but you need to be able to drive. That’s just the Michigan Motor City in me. This man was the worst driver and it was like he was afraid of the people walking and other cars. Like dude, are you gonna be afraid of all this body too? Ew he could never touch me, I thought!

    We get to Herald Square and he parks, he makes sure to read the parking signs and then we enter the pool hall. The pool hall was so empty which was great. I didn’t want everyone to see me whip his butt in pool, I’m pretty good. We had already made a bet that if he lost, he would record a video of himself twerking in his cop uniform.

    While I’m lining up my shot, Law & Order is behind me staring at me very creepy-like. Then he presses his body against mine while I’m shooting. Hmm let’s see, this would have been majorly cool if I was attracted to him and he had more facial hair. In fact, he didn’t have any facial hair and he reminds of my 18 year old nephew’s friends yet this man was 31.  SO, of course I win 2/3 game of pool and he has the video ready to show me. In fact, he sends me the video. NOOOO don’t send me the evidence sir! The video is of him twerking badly in his NYPD uniform and it was pretty funny. Yes, I’ve sent that video to my closest friends and family so we could enjoy a good laugh. If I was a horrible person, that video would be on this page making you laugh too. It would have gone viral.

    It was about 11:30pm in Herald Square on a Sunday so the only restaurant open was Hooters and I was so excited for a good Hooters burger. While we waiting for a table, he bent down to try to kiss me. In fact, his whole body was touching me at the same time. I’ve never been so touched on a date. He touched and wanted to connect with me the entire time. Man, we are in the middle of Hooters, people are eating fries and crap, why are you trying to tongue me down? No way, where’s my burger. So eventually I get my burger and we leave. We get to his car or where it used to be parked. His car is gone. Hahahahaha

    This didn’t make me laugh at the time because I really just wanted to go home and go to bed. His car being taken really slowed down my process of getting home. He’s like, “nooo where’s my car”. I educate him that his car is probably in the pound because it was towed. He’s like how you know and where is that at. He’s looking at the signs and see that he parked in a commercial vehicle spot. How are the police and you get your car towed? My thing is that he didn’t act like a police officer in the situation, he didn’t know anything or what to do. How you gonna help someone when they are in need? Maybe he will learn after a few years and eventually be a great cop? That night, I had to lead him to car pound place and I even ordered us an uber. As we were getting out of Uber, he was like “how do I pay for this”? I say, “I got it, it’s only $5”. Who doesn’t know how Uber works? He lives in NYC and doesn’t know how Uber works and he JUST got a car.  I’m not sure if I can trust a man who doesn’t know how Uber works or how to Google things. At the car impound he pays 200 to get his car out and then there’s a huge 115 ticket on his windshield too. He then asks me, “want to hang out longer and go somewhere else?” Seee that is something I like about him, he’s so positive or he’s just unaware of life… I chose to go home. He was touching me too much and I was not attracted to him overall.

    Well I haven’t seen him again but I still have that video if you want to see it …

Guy Update

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It’s been so long since I’ve even had a chance to talk about guys so here it is:

Ex Factor – In January, I’m sure you read that he saw me with Roz out on a date (or read it here). Of course all of a sudden Ex Factor is completely upset and showing emotion. In my opinion, if he was doing the things that a man does to show a woman that he likes her, then I wouldn’t have been on a date with anybody but he wasn’t. I suppose he needs time to get over that as time heals all wounds. On Valentines Day he did text me to say “Happy V Day”. I guess we are going to be friends from a distant. At this point in my life, I can’t wait for someone to act right when they have had years already to do so. It’s just not fair to do so.

Uncle (no not my uncle) – Uncle needs his own entire blog post but I don’t have the energy to do it just for him. Uncle was a nice guy that I met in mid December who I thought was a smart and cool guy. We talked for about a month and a half or so. We went out on dates, talked a lot and shared past experiences. Uncle had a lot of inner issues stemming from his ex girlfriends and his parents. I figured out quickly that I was much more advanced in life, love, and career than Uncle. But really I never held that against him because I thought he was cool.

I’m not sure if I have the patience currently to wait for a man to grow up and then teach him how to be a man. I can’t do that. Uncle has to grow on his own. I also saw that his inner issues were stopping him from a lot of things and will continue to do so until he fixing it. About a month ago, he said that he noticed that I wasn’t paying him much attention anymore. He claimed it was because I was talking to so many other men that I was ignoring him. He also said that he wasn’t going to compete with other men so he was out. I agreed. Honestly, that wasn’t the truth. I wasn’t ignoring him because I was focused on other men. I just stopped trying to be ‘Captain Save A Hoe’. I’m usually ‘Captain Save A Hoe‘ for people trying to fix them and make them better people. It’s just ‘in me’ to want to help people. I gave Uncle a chance and if his inner issues weren’t stopping him, we would be friends now. All in all, he does need to grow up, move OUT of his parents home and try new things. I wish the best for him I suppose.

Roz – I already was not that much into Roz so Roz is gone. I’m sure if I text him right now, he would answer and be cool. I’m not going to text him.

Random Guy from Long Island – There was a guy that I met who was from Long Island. I only bring this up to say that a lot of guys do the same thing that he did. He expressed that the only thing he needs in his life is a loving woman and relationship, blah blah blah. However, the guy texted me good morning everyday and didn’t have (good) conversation. It was slight annoying to me. Why continue to text me and don’t talk about anything. When I start a conversation it was me leading. No thank you, I need reciprocating convo. These guys are lazy nowadays!

What to do from here? I’m taking it easy. That’s as simple as that. I can’t focus on dating at least until Spring/Summer.

 

January Dating Update

OMG I just realized that I haven’t updated you all on my dating since crazy brother Malcolm.

  •  Roz
    • Roz and I met in early December. We went on a date to a movie. Roz bought the tickets to the movie without telling me where we were meeting. Roz is taller than I am with heels on and he’s attractive. The movie was so packed (opening night) that we opted to see the following movie time which started an hour later. By this time I am so hungry. Roz why are you not feeding me? Eventually Roz is hungry too and says we will get food afterwards. However before the movie started, I had to listen to Roz talk about the universe, how intelligence should be classified in societies and other crazy man topics. Roz seemed a little off but entertaining. When the movie started he also talked during the movie a few times. Don’t talk when the movie is on especially if you have a deep sexy voice. Everyone can hear you!
    • After the movie (1:30am) we went to union square to get pizza because I learned that he was a vegetarian and couldn’t eat at five guys… I don’t think I want to date vegetarians. While eating pizza Roz’s card was declined but I grabbed my pizza and sat down. I let him figure it out, it was none of my business although I was prepared to pay. I’m sure he had it somewhere. Roz works in IT, so I hope he gets a paycheck. He sat down after paying and said “I don’t know what happened there”. I ignored it and just started to talk about the movie. Beyond his weird conversation and declined card, it wasn’t horrible. There was a lot of random chemistry between us, he did hold me to keep me warm while waiting for my cab. Then he also asked if he could come home with me… of course I said no. I have no idea what guys are thinking these days.
  • X-factor
    • He still hovers over my life. He’s the best damn hover-er in the history of ex boyfriends. To be continued…

Dating Escapades of September

The dates that I been on lately, have been more like stunts and adventures…

Guy: JR

I went out on two dates with JR. The first date was a movie and I was about 10 minutes late. He was annoyed. Oh well, I did tell him I would be late because I was already busy with my girlfriends. By the end of the movie, he was so happy to be in my presence that he forgot he was mad.

Afterwards, we searched around looking for a bar to go to but couldn’t find one that wasn’t so loud. We found a lounge. I got the feeling that JR was a cheap guy, he didn’t want to pay $20 to get into a lounge. That definitely turned me off. Ugh I never did like JR that much. A day after the movie, he even told me that he missed me? Hmm okay sure.

The next date was to a restaurant but I was 30 minutes late. Okay… I was late because I had another date prior. Sorry JR. JR then took me to a movie and invited me over to his home to “chill”. I once asked JR, “what are you good at”? He replied, “bowling, pool, and sex”. Sorry JR I’m not coming to your house sir. That’s the end of JR and I. He’s weird and creepy. However, I do need to work on being on time.

*The most creepy part of JR is that he sent me photos of his body saying “just wanted you to think of me when you sleep”… creepy.

Guy: Key (I named him after Key & Peele)

Key and I met at a coffee shop to chat. His card was declined when he paid for the coffee. However he had cash. Now see, Key is so hilarious that the situation wasn’t as bad as you would think. I can understand your card being declined, maybe he has fraud on it. I had fraud on my card 3x in August. Actually 3 days later, he mentioned that he had dropped his wallet so all of his cards mixed together. Basically the card that used to pay for coffee was the wrong card. Thank God for cash and my patience.

We then crashed a community garden party with food and drinks. It was fun and I felt comfortable with Key. He’s cute and has a great personality. I mean he makes me laugh, that’s the key. I’m sure he will get a new debit card with a chip in it. I definitely don’t want to see his declined card again.

Guy: Jon

I’ve went on a date with Jon before and I wrote about it here. Jon is slowly leaving the picture. He doesn’t talk much or have great conversation. I’m a girl who needs conversation, I’m stimulated by that. So when you don’t know what to talk about, I’m disinterested. Adios Jon.