Guy Update #1,024

Yes, I do feel like I have given 1,023 Guy Updates on this blog. Here’s another one:

All of those guys that I talked about last post are gone except for Ex-Factor…

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  • Ex-Factor – He’s still alive and kicking. He still lives close to me. He just really irritates me sometimes. It’s like he does the opposite of what I ask him to do. I don’t know if God invented another man as not right for me yet this man is still there.
  • Law & Order : So there was this cop guy and he had to be most unattractive guy I’ve going out with in such a long time. Not unattractive physically but unattractive in probably every other aspect. Physically, he was about 6’3 with light brown eyes. Everything else was just… so unattractive to me.

    He picked me up from my house. He was wearing a (too short) Polo shirt, khaki shorts and some sneakers. The whole outfit was off. It didn’t fit well. He didn’t have any muscle tone at all. Like there’s nothing hard on his body at all that I know of.

    So we got into his car and he proceeded to drive us to the pool hall. This man CANNOT drive! He is a New York City Police Officer and he cannot drive worth anything.  He did mention that he has to retake his drivers test within his department. His inability to drive really made me more unattracted to him. I’m almost thirty and a man being able to drive is a must. He doesn’t need to have a car in NYC but you need to be able to drive. That’s just the Michigan Motor City in me. This man was the worst driver and it was like he was afraid of the people walking and other cars. Like dude, are you gonna be afraid of all this body too? Ew he could never touch me, I thought!

    We get to Herald Square and he parks, he makes sure to read the parking signs and then we enter the pool hall. The pool hall was so empty which was great. I didn’t want everyone to see me whip his butt in pool, I’m pretty good. We had already made a bet that if he lost, he would record a video of himself twerking in his cop uniform.

    While I’m lining up my shot, Law & Order is behind me staring at me very creepy-like. Then he presses his body against mine while I’m shooting. Hmm let’s see, this would have been majorly cool if I was attracted to him and he had more facial hair. In fact, he didn’t have any facial hair and he reminds of my 18 year old nephew’s friends yet this man was 31.  SO, of course I win 2/3 game of pool and he has the video ready to show me. In fact, he sends me the video. NOOOO don’t send me the evidence sir! The video is of him twerking badly in his NYPD uniform and it was pretty funny. Yes, I’ve sent that video to my closest friends and family so we could enjoy a good laugh. If I was a horrible person, that video would be on this page making you laugh too. It would have gone viral.

    It was about 11:30pm in Herald Square on a Sunday so the only restaurant open was Hooters and I was so excited for a good Hooters burger. While we waiting for a table, he bent down to try to kiss me. In fact, his whole body was touching me at the same time. I’ve never been so touched on a date. He touched and wanted to connect with me the entire time. Man, we are in the middle of Hooters, people are eating fries and crap, why are you trying to tongue me down? No way, where’s my burger. So eventually I get my burger and we leave. We get to his car or where it used to be parked. His car is gone. Hahahahaha

    This didn’t make me laugh at the time because I really just wanted to go home and go to bed. His car being taken really slowed down my process of getting home. He’s like, “nooo where’s my car”. I educate him that his car is probably in the pound because it was towed. He’s like how you know and where is that at. He’s looking at the signs and see that he parked in a commercial vehicle spot. How are the police and you get your car towed? My thing is that he didn’t act like a police officer in the situation, he didn’t know anything or what to do. How you gonna help someone when they are in need? Maybe he will learn after a few years and eventually be a great cop? That night, I had to lead him to car pound place and I even ordered us an uber. As we were getting out of Uber, he was like “how do I pay for this”? I say, “I got it, it’s only $5”. Who doesn’t know how Uber works? He lives in NYC and doesn’t know how Uber works and he JUST got a car.  I’m not sure if I can trust a man who doesn’t know how Uber works or how to Google things. At the car impound he pays 200 to get his car out and then there’s a huge 115 ticket on his windshield too. He then asks me, “want to hang out longer and go somewhere else?” Seee that is something I like about him, he’s so positive or he’s just unaware of life… I chose to go home. He was touching me too much and I was not attracted to him overall.

    Well I haven’t seen him again but I still have that video if you want to see it …

Date on the Water

I had such a cute and effortless date with a guy named Phd…

We met at a day party in early April. He came up to me at the party and started talking to me, I liked that a lot. There are too many instances at parties when guys are on one side and girls are on the other, neither interacting with one another. Phd gave me his number and I texted him mine. I was drinking and I had to text him immediately because I wasn’t sure if I had gotten the number right or wrong. Either way that was such a good day.

Phd is really funny, he talks a lot, and when we talk it’s so effortless. Usually I’m really guarded and vague when I first chat with guys. I don’t want them to know anything much about me honestly. With Phd, I just naturally let it flow and it’s interesting. I don’t really have an explanation on why it’s so effortless or why I just feel so comfortable, it just is.

On our date, he picked me from my apartment to take me to this cool restaurant off the water in queens. He made reservations and all. We ate our food and talked for a long time. At the end we walked along the water (it was freezing) and then he dropped me off.

I hope to write some more about him before he figures out this blog hahaha