Guy Update #1,024

Yes, I do feel like I have given 1,023 Guy Updates on this blog. Here’s another one:

All of those guys that I talked about last post are gone except for Ex-Factor…


  • Ex-Factor – He’s still alive and kicking. He still lives close to me. He just really irritates me sometimes. It’s like he does the opposite of what I ask him to do. I don’t know if God invented another man as not right for me yet this man is still there.
  • Law & Order : So there was this cop guy and he had to be most unattractive guy I’ve going out with in such a long time. Not unattractive physically but unattractive in probably every other aspect. Physically, he was about 6’3 with light brown eyes. Everything else was just… so unattractive to me.

    He picked me up from my house. He was wearing a (too short) Polo shirt, khaki shorts and some sneakers. The whole outfit was off. It didn’t fit well. He didn’t have any muscle tone at all. Like there’s nothing hard on his body at all that I know of.

    So we got into his car and he proceeded to drive us to the pool hall. This man CANNOT drive! He is a New York City Police Officer and he cannot drive worth anything.  He did mention that he has to retake his drivers test within his department. His inability to drive really made me more unattracted to him. I’m almost thirty and a man being able to drive is a must. He doesn’t need to have a car in NYC but you need to be able to drive. That’s just the Michigan Motor City in me. This man was the worst driver and it was like he was afraid of the people walking and other cars. Like dude, are you gonna be afraid of all this body too? Ew he could never touch me, I thought!

    We get to Herald Square and he parks, he makes sure to read the parking signs and then we enter the pool hall. The pool hall was so empty which was great. I didn’t want everyone to see me whip his butt in pool, I’m pretty good. We had already made a bet that if he lost, he would record a video of himself twerking in his cop uniform.

    While I’m lining up my shot, Law & Order is behind me staring at me very creepy-like. Then he presses his body against mine while I’m shooting. Hmm let’s see, this would have been majorly cool if I was attracted to him and he had more facial hair. In fact, he didn’t have any facial hair and he reminds of my 18 year old nephew’s friends yet this man was 31.  SO, of course I win 2/3 game of pool and he has the video ready to show me. In fact, he sends me the video. NOOOO don’t send me the evidence sir! The video is of him twerking badly in his NYPD uniform and it was pretty funny. Yes, I’ve sent that video to my closest friends and family so we could enjoy a good laugh. If I was a horrible person, that video would be on this page making you laugh too. It would have gone viral.

    It was about 11:30pm in Herald Square on a Sunday so the only restaurant open was Hooters and I was so excited for a good Hooters burger. While we waiting for a table, he bent down to try to kiss me. In fact, his whole body was touching me at the same time. I’ve never been so touched on a date. He touched and wanted to connect with me the entire time. Man, we are in the middle of Hooters, people are eating fries and crap, why are you trying to tongue me down? No way, where’s my burger. So eventually I get my burger and we leave. We get to his car or where it used to be parked. His car is gone. Hahahahaha

    This didn’t make me laugh at the time because I really just wanted to go home and go to bed. His car being taken really slowed down my process of getting home. He’s like, “nooo where’s my car”. I educate him that his car is probably in the pound because it was towed. He’s like how you know and where is that at. He’s looking at the signs and see that he parked in a commercial vehicle spot. How are the police and you get your car towed? My thing is that he didn’t act like a police officer in the situation, he didn’t know anything or what to do. How you gonna help someone when they are in need? Maybe he will learn after a few years and eventually be a great cop? That night, I had to lead him to car pound place and I even ordered us an uber. As we were getting out of Uber, he was like “how do I pay for this”? I say, “I got it, it’s only $5”. Who doesn’t know how Uber works? He lives in NYC and doesn’t know how Uber works and he JUST got a car.  I’m not sure if I can trust a man who doesn’t know how Uber works or how to Google things. At the car impound he pays 200 to get his car out and then there’s a huge 115 ticket on his windshield too. He then asks me, “want to hang out longer and go somewhere else?” Seee that is something I like about him, he’s so positive or he’s just unaware of life… I chose to go home. He was touching me too much and I was not attracted to him overall.

    Well I haven’t seen him again but I still have that video if you want to see it …

I’m Done Dating, Really!

I’m done… finito… I QUIT DATING. 


If you’re my friend, you know those are sad words to hear me say. Friends are always encouraging me to date, be open, and see what’s out there. The truth is there is nothing out there (in the dating sphere) and after a year of proactively dating again, I’ve had enough ridiculous stupid stories to fill this blog up with but none that I care to remember. None that leave me with a good taste in my mouth. In fact, dating has turned me off and is making me slight… bitter. I’m not even 30 yet, I am definitely not trying to be bitter already. Maybe I’m just tired, maybe I just need a break? First of all, I need to boot Ex-Factor out completely. Beyond that, it doesn’t matter because even before he was back, I still didn’t have anything going on. The truth of the matter is that it is just not my time to find anybody worth anything.

Let’s state some personal facts here – I’m black, I live in New York City, and I want a particular guy. Being black is important because there’s a LOT of people in NYC but there’s not some infinite amount of black people, it’s like sprinkles of people that run in the same crew. Being black in NYC means you know all of the eligible people yet no one is settling down because it’s so much freaking fun to party, be out, and mess around. It’s just not the settling down place, not at least until you’re over 40. The particular man I’m looking for needs to have a career, be at least taller than I am at 5’9, can drive a car, not be a creep/whore/cheater, not have kids, and eventually could move out of NYC. I hate NYC about 80% of the time nowadays, I’m ready to go but I now have this new awesome job so I can’t. Any who, is that too much to ask for? That’s just bare minimum, I think. That’s literally just a simple list that I just made up although I know list don’t really matter with love but that’s my starting point.

Back to the point – I’m done with dating… for now. 

Date on the Water

I had such a cute and effortless date with a guy named Phd…

We met at a day party in early April. He came up to me at the party and started talking to me, I liked that a lot. There are too many instances at parties when guys are on one side and girls are on the other, neither interacting with one another. Phd gave me his number and I texted him mine. I was drinking and I had to text him immediately because I wasn’t sure if I had gotten the number right or wrong. Either way that was such a good day.

Phd is really funny, he talks a lot, and when we talk it’s so effortless. Usually I’m really guarded and vague when I first chat with guys. I don’t want them to know anything much about me honestly. With Phd, I just naturally let it flow and it’s interesting. I don’t really have an explanation on why it’s so effortless or why I just feel so comfortable, it just is.

On our date, he picked me from my apartment to take me to this cool restaurant off the water in queens. He made reservations and all. We ate our food and talked for a long time. At the end we walked along the water (it was freezing) and then he dropped me off.

I hope to write some more about him before he figures out this blog hahaha

Dating Sites


I’ve chilled out on dating for a while but now I’m ramping up to get back in the game. I’ve been back on some websites. By no means, are these my favorites but they do the job. Well actually tinder is my favorite. I love that two people have to match up to even send a message but I hate when I get guys who want sexual relations. No thank you. This is not where I’m coming to find the male genitalia. I would think that I would just go to a bar for that hahaha, right? Any-who, Tinder is cool. I am on Plenty of Fish too but I rarely respond to messages. I like to see who’s contacting me and what I am attracting in the world.

I took a chance last weekend and gave this sexy guy from POF my number when he asked. First-off I don’t give out my number until there has been constant back and forth communication for a while. Then I only give my google voice number. Then if it’s good texting and talking, I would meet up with them but that’s at least a month or a few weeks of work. But this guy, I decided to take a chance, because I was feeling dumb and risky. That’s a horrible combination honestly. I gave this guy my number. He texted me and asked me to FaceTime him. Guy, I am making breakfast at 9am in the morning and I just finished a hearty workout! I don’t want to FaceTime you. But I did, after I cleaned up my face and ate.

I dialed his number thinking I was going to get a sexy brown-skinned bearded handsome man but the man who answered the FaceTime was quite the opposite. His beard was not neat, in fact it was very homeless like. He was driving and Face-timing me too which is dumb. He started talking and asking me questions about myself immediately and told me that he doesn’t read profiles, he just looks at photos. That just brings me back to how people can hide anything in a book because (some) black people don’t read. Ugh. Maybe that was harsh but dude I took the time to write, so you should read because you could miss important info. What if I said I had a penis? Internet world – I do not have a penis. But what if I did and I wrote that, this dude would be talking to a penis holding cute girl and not know it, dummy. Then he proceeded to say, “no I’m not cutting my beard so don’t ask. All girls ask me that.” Then he leans to the left to look for passing cars and I notice a tattoo on the side of his face. If you ask me, I would say it was tear drops from the people he has killed but really it was just some dumb tattoo of who’s know what on the right side of his face. It really could have been tear drops. He was just too ghetto for me. Like what? A tat on your face? No thank you and your attitude is too macho. It was weird. After a while of him talking and calling me pretty, he said that he would call me back after he went to T-mobile to change his plan from the $40 plan to the $60 plan.


Hmm at this point, the only person that I could blame was myself. I risked my number and my 10 minutes on the phone with him. I did this to myself. Of course he called me back and I accidentally answered and said I’ll talk to him later. I have not answered a text or call since. However Thursday I did respond back and say it was nice chatting but I’m not interested. I mean I just can’t run around town with a man who has a tattoo on his face. Call me picky but damn a tattoo on the face though? He’s not even a wealthy rapper, just a $40 T-mobile having dude from Florida who lives in New Jersey. Low key, I wish my phone plan was that cheap but I have Verizon.

Lesson learned!

NEW YORK - JUNE 03: Rapper Game attends 2010 VH1 Hip Hop Honors at Hammerstein Ballroom on June 3, 2010 in New York, New York. (Photo by Jemal Countess/Getty Images)




Guy Update

It’s been so long since I’ve even had a chance to talk about guys so here it is:

Ex Factor – In January, I’m sure you read that he saw me with Roz out on a date (or read it here). Of course all of a sudden Ex Factor is completely upset and showing emotion. In my opinion, if he was doing the things that a man does to show a woman that he likes her, then I wouldn’t have been on a date with anybody but he wasn’t. I suppose he needs time to get over that as time heals all wounds. On Valentines Day he did text me to say “Happy V Day”. I guess we are going to be friends from a distant. At this point in my life, I can’t wait for someone to act right when they have had years already to do so. It’s just not fair to do so.

Uncle (no not my uncle) – Uncle needs his own entire blog post but I don’t have the energy to do it just for him. Uncle was a nice guy that I met in mid December who I thought was a smart and cool guy. We talked for about a month and a half or so. We went out on dates, talked a lot and shared past experiences. Uncle had a lot of inner issues stemming from his ex girlfriends and his parents. I figured out quickly that I was much more advanced in life, love, and career than Uncle. But really I never held that against him because I thought he was cool.

I’m not sure if I have the patience currently to wait for a man to grow up and then teach him how to be a man. I can’t do that. Uncle has to grow on his own. I also saw that his inner issues were stopping him from a lot of things and will continue to do so until he fixing it. About a month ago, he said that he noticed that I wasn’t paying him much attention anymore. He claimed it was because I was talking to so many other men that I was ignoring him. He also said that he wasn’t going to compete with other men so he was out. I agreed. Honestly, that wasn’t the truth. I wasn’t ignoring him because I was focused on other men. I just stopped trying to be ‘Captain Save A Hoe’. I’m usually ‘Captain Save A Hoe‘ for people trying to fix them and make them better people. It’s just ‘in me’ to want to help people. I gave Uncle a chance and if his inner issues weren’t stopping him, we would be friends now. All in all, he does need to grow up, move OUT of his parents home and try new things. I wish the best for him I suppose.

Roz – I already was not that much into Roz so Roz is gone. I’m sure if I text him right now, he would answer and be cool. I’m not going to text him.

Random Guy from Long Island – There was a guy that I met who was from Long Island. I only bring this up to say that a lot of guys do the same thing that he did. He expressed that the only thing he needs in his life is a loving woman and relationship, blah blah blah. However, the guy texted me good morning everyday and didn’t have (good) conversation. It was slight annoying to me. Why continue to text me and don’t talk about anything. When I start a conversation it was me leading. No thank you, I need reciprocating convo. These guys are lazy nowadays!

What to do from here? I’m taking it easy. That’s as simple as that. I can’t focus on dating at least until Spring/Summer.


You Got Hoes Krystal

I decided to go out with Roz again…

We met up at Spice restaurant to eat Thai food. He dressed very nice but he had these huge headphones with him. He should leave those at home next time. I could tell that he wanted to talk to me about us dating. He mentioned something like that, previously in text but I don’t think I’m interested. At dinner he wanted to know more about my life and what I do for a living. I actually enjoyed chatting with him but I didn’t feel the need to open up to him about who I am. The bill came and I was anxious to see if his card would be declined (haha), of course it was not. He asked me to pick the next place for our adventure and I picked a hookah lounge (that I usually pick on first dates). We went to the lounge but couldn’t get in because he had a hat on. They wouldn’t even allow him to take the hat off. What an establishment!

We then, just walked down the street. I was in mid-sentence calling Roz “boo” when I turned to my right and saw Ex-factor standing there. I never shut up so fast in my life LOL. Suddenly Roz disappeared in my mind and there was only me and Ex-factor. Ex-factor looked so good in his all black. This man is so fine to me and probably most of the population of women. He’s 6’4, brown-skinned, slender and big Will Smith dumb ears. Ex and I chatted but I really wanted to know why the hell he was in my neighborhood because we had agreed each other’s area was off limits. And I also wanted to know was he with a chick. Ex was by himself. After we talked, I realized that Roz was there again and I should introduce them (I should not have) so I said “Fuckboy meet fuckboy jr, alright”. Okay, I used their nicknames instead of fuckboy. Ex factor says, “I’ll hit you up later”. I paused and continued to walk with Roz who was laughing out loud.

Of course I soon got a text from Ex that said:

We will discuss this later

Really what are we discussing? In real life, there’s nothing to discuss because we aren’t together. However in the land of crazy people, we needed to discuss how I was fake cheating on him and having a life outside of his bullshit. That’s where it gets weird for me, how dare you not do what you should have been doing and then be mad when I go get a life and date? If he was with me instead of hiding in dark shadows of Manhattan then this wouldn’t be a problem.


Our texting continued throughout the night and into the next morning. I even tried to talk him into coming over later so we could talk about what he said we needed to discuss. That was done purposely to let him know that of course I wouldn’t be going home with Roz. Wait, before I can even get to our texts, I alert you all that Roz had an entire condoms in his pocket. I suppose Roz is very confident but an entire box in your pocket sir? No thank you.

So Ex-factor and I texted with the gist of the conversation being that I was “caught”.  In his mind, I’m sure it made sense. I can really tell that Ex-factor was extremely mad at me. I was really mad at Ex-factor most of our relationship so I can totally understand. But I don’t understand why he doesn’t just step up if he doesn’t want someone else to have me. Oh well his fault.

His last words to me were, “You don’t need me. You got hoes, Krystal :)”.

Son of a b… really?

It’s interesting that someone who didn’t treat you right, doesn’t like when someone else tries to. Granted, I do not want Roz but Ex-factor doesn’t need to know that. In reality, I do not need Ex-factor and I won’t be communicating with him anymore. I think I have learned my lesson about back-tracking but I DON’T have hoes.

January Dating Update

OMG I just realized that I haven’t updated you all on my dating since crazy brother Malcolm.

  •  Roz
    • Roz and I met in early December. We went on a date to a movie. Roz bought the tickets to the movie without telling me where we were meeting. Roz is taller than I am with heels on and he’s attractive. The movie was so packed (opening night) that we opted to see the following movie time which started an hour later. By this time I am so hungry. Roz why are you not feeding me? Eventually Roz is hungry too and says we will get food afterwards. However before the movie started, I had to listen to Roz talk about the universe, how intelligence should be classified in societies and other crazy man topics. Roz seemed a little off but entertaining. When the movie started he also talked during the movie a few times. Don’t talk when the movie is on especially if you have a deep sexy voice. Everyone can hear you!
    • After the movie (1:30am) we went to union square to get pizza because I learned that he was a vegetarian and couldn’t eat at five guys… I don’t think I want to date vegetarians. While eating pizza Roz’s card was declined but I grabbed my pizza and sat down. I let him figure it out, it was none of my business although I was prepared to pay. I’m sure he had it somewhere. Roz works in IT, so I hope he gets a paycheck. He sat down after paying and said “I don’t know what happened there”. I ignored it and just started to talk about the movie. Beyond his weird conversation and declined card, it wasn’t horrible. There was a lot of random chemistry between us, he did hold me to keep me warm while waiting for my cab. Then he also asked if he could come home with me… of course I said no. I have no idea what guys are thinking these days.
  • X-factor
    • He still hovers over my life. He’s the best damn hover-er in the history of ex boyfriends. To be continued…