These are always my favorite updates because they are so truthful and entertaining to write:
- PHD – So there was a guy named PHD. We met two months ago at a party. He was tall, dark and handsome. He immediately came up to me, that’s what I love! He was very talkative (I love that too) but eventually he only talked about himself and his life. He was very gossipy about his friends and work buddies lives. I became frustrated with that.After a while, I learned more and more things about him. He worked two jobs… two low income jobs. His two jobs took up 12 hours of his day and he was only bringing in $2,400 monthly after taxes (he volunteered this info). It frustrated me more to figure out why would a person work two jobs and still bring in such a low income when they could just get one job paying an okay wage? It doesn’t apply to everyone but he had a bachelors degree, he could have at least been a manager at T-Mobile. It sounds mean for me to say that but I really mean that he could do better for himself yet he was letting crappy jobs take up 12 hrs a day. PHD said it was because he doesn’t like authority and he didn’t want to be on-call or have to supervise people. What that really sounds like is you are scared and you are happy being less than mediocre. It also seemed like he didn’t think he was a smart man. He used to make several references to me being the smart one.. That’s unattractive in a man; have confidence, have optimism, and have ambition!We chatted a lot, really. This man had no initiative.. no drive… no ambition. That is honestly the part that turned me off of him. I don’t care if you mop floors, just strive to be the best and do the best. Besides him having no ambition, he would randomly ask me if he could perform cunnilingus on me. Usually, I’m ecstatic about those types of things but in this case, it was creepy with him. I think he was accostomed to women having sex with him as soon as they met. Good Bye PHD.
- Ex Factor – He’s alive… He’s been alive with me for a few weeks but now he’s going to be alive by himself for the rest of his life, away from me. Yes it’s a strange way to describe him and I, but I can’t even deal with discussing him without being incredibly bitter.
- Guy From LI – There’s a cool guy from Long Island who works at the same place as PHD (lol) but he has an actual good job there. He was okay so far I guess. He isn’t conversational unless it’s talking about himself. All these men want to do is hear the sound of there own voices. I do like that Ex-factor isn’t like that! But then again I need Ex-factor away from me. Back to this guy, he picked me up for a date in his cool charger with tinted windows and racing stripes. He took me to a restaurant in Harlem for dinner and drinks. He was very quiet unless he’s talking and he said he doesn’t ask questions. Thank God the music was blasting at the restaurant and the food was enjoyable. I don’t know if I’ll see this guy again but it was nice to go out and have some fun.
- John da Cheapo – John is of the Cheapos. John and I went on one date where we had great conversation. He looked nice except for the extra long sideburns that were plastered on his face. John and I chatted about a month on and off before going out. There were significant signs of his cheapness that I can remember now. He said, “we can’t get drinks in manhattan because those drinks are too high”. That was sign number one. Then about a few weeks later he asked me if I kept alcohol in my apartment because he knows that I don’t drink other than socially. I replied, “yeah sure I have wine or something”.Now fast forward to date night: Date night we get drinks and he made sure to pick a place that had a happy hour. I mean what do I care, I’m not the one paying. After having great convo, he offers to walk me home. Sure! He gets in front of my building and says that he has to go to the bathroom. Sure you do! I told him no he can’t use my bathroom. He begs and even pulls my arms to lead the way. I say no and tell him there’s a bar down the street that he can go to. He tells me okay but he thought that we could drink the wine that I had too. I almost choked on my spit and laughed. These men are crazy and will try to go as far without doing anything, if you let them. So of course John Da Cheapo of the Cheapos is gone but right before I dismissed him in a series of texts, I tried to find out the truth. He asked me how I was doing and then he said that his friend was taking him to a spot in Queens that had free entry. I was so tired of hearing about deals, cheap drinks, how he’s frugal, and free entry spots from him at that point. So I simply asked him why he was so cheap because at this moment, I don’t like you and I just want to know why you are so cheap. John didn’t offer any insight into why he’s so cheap but it was definitely a turn off. I’m sure I turned him off too by being irritated by the entire thing. John Da Cheapo is gone. Bye!