A short while ago, I met a guy named M. M and I texted a lot and our values matched perfectly. He was also a mid-westerner living in NYC and also has a master’s degree. M invited me on our first “date” to a bar in East Village. I went to the bar wearing leggings, a cute black ripped shirt, and a leather jacket. M showed up with a hoodie on. I was instantly turned off. He was also way thinner than I remember, about 5’10 and 140 pounds. I like to say he’s a petite man. I do like a thin man but usually the guy is about 6’2 (and above) and slender. There was no way M would ever be able to pick me up…
Although he looked less than desirable at first, we had great conversation. There were a few red flags when he constantly inserted himself into my future life plans like children and moving from NYC. Other than that, I thought he was a great listening ear and was more like a buddy or best friend than a lover.
M asked me on a date each day of that week. The next date, he wore a suit since he was coming from work. He looked very nice in his suit, I was very impressed. By the time of the fourth date, I was used to my buddy M. We played pool in the village where he continued to touch the love handles on my body as I made winning shots. Very weird! It was like he was trying to assert his manhood around the other men and women watching. Of course, I beat the petite man in pool and let him win the third game (I grew up with a pool table in my basement). After playing pool, we went for more drinks and $2 tacos where he held my hand and kissed my neck. At this point, I’m liquored up and would have held anyone’s hand. Growing tired of faking the funk around M, I called for a cab.
M asked, “can I come home with you? I’ll sleep on your couch”. I replied, “No, my couch is next to my bed. I don’t want you to think we would be doing anything else”. He said, “no really, I’ll be good. I don’t even want to have sex”. I’m thinking to myself, “of course you don’t want to have sex! You are gay, just tell me. We are cool”. But I told him no and went home.
I though that would be the end of M but the next day he asked me out to brunch. I love brunch and I can’t resist a free brunch so we went out again. I was so shocked by him asking to come home the night prior that I was definitely acting weird at brunch. I gave him multiple looks and openings to say that he was gay. He never did.
I no longer go out on free dates with M and I no longer talk to him. I think he realized I knew he was gay or gay-ish. To be more clear, M talked feminine and walked feminine and even turned corners feminine (in my opinion). Really what did this man want with me? Was he going to take me home to his mother and play like we were together? I don’t know. I do know that in August, a psychic told me these exact words, “someone named M isn’t what you think they are. They don’t want good things with you”. As much as I’m a skeptic, I should have steered clear of M in the beginning.
What I learned: Everyone who is feminine isn’t gay, but M was definitely gay. I’m tired of dating already, dating losers. All those free meals caused me to workout less, resulting in less weight loss. Men suck.. for now.